The Green Kebab

Assalamualaikum...

Ha?? A green kebab?

I already knew that it was the your first thought when you first read the title at the top of this post.

Or, it should be like this: How could it be green? What is? (in translation of Apakah??)

Okay, let's make it clear. Neither the first nor the second thought are related to my post. I just wanna 'promote' a great kebab restaurant that has existed here, for centuries, I thought. Initially, I don't think the restaurant should be promoted this way, because it's tooooo 'special' to be translated into words! Yet my two stubborn accompanies during my first visit there, let I called them as Nyat (Mo-Nyat, Mo-Nyet, or whatever...) and Fart-me (What a 'smelly' name!) urged me to write this precious experience in my blog. Oh, not to forget, Lemang, an innocent Kelantanese guy who psychologically refused to go to the restaurant....initially. However, he agreed to go after he was being persuaded by the other two that I had mentioned earlier.

Alkisah...

We, the four happy guys rushed to the balad, just a few moments after the Arabic exam had ended. So, 'celebrating' the event was a must-do for the other three (not for me, I was only an innocent follower..haha). We went to the kebab restaurant, or officially called Kebab Hijau by Malay students.

The kedai was so isolated, yet Nyat and Fart-me could find the path to it just by closing his two eyes because  they were the regular customers of the kedai. Sometimes I keep thinking whether the pakcik kedai had muttered around, "Ish, budak ni lagi...." each time they paid a visit there. Sumpah, kalau kedai tu buat kad membership, dua ekor ni lah yang register dulu. Haha. Okay, let's take a look on the kedai's location. It was near to Clock's Roundabout (is it true?). At first sight, it was really like Diagon Alley in Harry Potter series, completed with small lanes squiggling around and crowded people. In Malay, it was called 'tempat solok'. Not to forget, a horrific kedai which sells life chickens (the worker will slaughter your desired chickens just in front of your naked eyes) was just a stone throw away from the kedai kebab. Strategic, isn't it? Haha...

We took our seats on old chairs that seems to be crushed if a small additional force was applied on it. Then we ordered our kebabs and kibdah. Several seconds later (minutes actually), our kebabs were brought to us. Wah, mengancam betul bau dia...The recipe was still unknown, though rumors said that the peluh pakcik kedai plus cigarettes ashes had added a special mouth-watering taste to the kebabs. FYI, the kebabs here are served with a large bread and reusable sauce. So, if you are willing to have a meal here, please make sure you have a good nerve responses and a pair of 'high-speed' hands to catch the breads before the waiter lands them on the 'very very very clean' table.It's a serving-style, I think.  Luckily, Nyat has that ability, so our bread were still 'suci'. About the sauce, I don't even know (and never want to know), how many customers had used it, hundereds, perhaps? Yeah, believe me, the sauce was reusable. Maybe it was the reason why Nyat and Fart-me were addicted to kebabs here so much. Haha. After all, wasting is a bad behavior and one of setan-gemok's lifestyle, isn't it? Fine...

Drinks were another 'interesting' matter. Each table was provided with water, filled in an ancient-looked jar. One crucial tip taught by Fart-me before you drink the water was not to uncover the jar, just to look on what had 'existed' inside it. Oh, I see...

"Tak payah bukak-bukak. Teruih minum ja...persetankan apa yang ada kat dalam tu." 

"Hahaha. Meragukan. Mana tau ada pathogen beranak-pinak dalam ni," Lemang added instantly. He is a medical student, of course.

At first, we refused to have a drink.When I saw that Fart-me was still alive and healthy after several big gulps of that water, then I realized, nothing to be worried about. The moy was so solihah li syarb actually.

We sank in a huge laugh after Lemang told that he used to see cockroaches and its offsprings crept happily on the floor. It was an apparent indicator to show that the kedai was so 'bersih', even Mr. Lipas was proudly bringing his big-happy-family to have their lunch at that kedai.

"Takpalah, depa nak makan kebab jugak..,"said Nyat, almost making my laughing-box inside my throat broke down.

Suddenly, a big group of akhowat were peeping from outside, still considering, whether to have their meals at the kedai. All of the syabab inside were flabbergasted (there are many Malay syabab at that time). 

"Aku tak pernah pikir pulak akhawat nak makan kat kedai yang macam ni...". Laughing.

Finally, they entered the kedai, guided by one of our friend. Bukan apa, langkah berjaga-jaga. Haha.

Before we left the kedai, an abang senior, who coincidentally also had his meal there told us and laughing:

"Belum pernah ada dalam sejarah akhowat makan kat kedai macam ni...Hahahaha..."

It's a great experience at all, at least for me. Hahaha....

Wallahua3lam.

p/s: akhawat, kalau nak makan kebab sangat, pergilah kedai yang hygiene sikit. Banyak je kat balad tu. Aku prefer kedai putih. Hahaha.

p/s: cerita ni suka-suka je. takde makna lain, ok?